After the party, i dont know what i feel anymore. Guilt was one of main ones that occupied my night and the next day. Whats even worse is when i come to think of it, i dont recall any moments of us, its like i did go to all those places and done all those things, but i dont remember with who, its like you are wiped out of my memory as time progresses. What is happening to me, im here with you but i dont feel you. Its like we dont have enough love, connection, time, nothing seems right at the moment. I feel as lonely as i was before. I feel like as though i have nothing, but even that, i'm afraid to lose it. Im afraid to lose my nothing and everything.