when i first met you, i never knew you would mean this much to me. Fate really did it's job right huh? If we never met then where would be now ? I'm so glad to have you in my life. There isn't much i can ask for, you make me feel like anything is possible. LOL jks. I meant most of it, some of it was just pure bullshit. HAHAHAH but just know that i really love you, please dont ever hurt me. I've taken my chance and betting on it with all i have. Please dont let me lose again, this time, i wont be able to recover. i feel that this is getting too cheesy. we'll just stop here.. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

ohhh Aderson is the biggest sweet heart i know, so he is like seeing this girl Kerrie and they are like adorable. omg i sound extremely blonde in that first sentence. well anywho, they went on their first date and he made a vlog with her on that date. he plan to upload it when they decide to date. I mean, HOW CUTE IS THAT, a guy that signifies the importance of the first date and made a video about it. You guys are lucky to have each other, all the best you love birds.

since i have shown you two my blog, i feel that you guys wont have the interest in coming back for a second visit. thus i feel more comfortable to put this back on public. i dont know if you have noticed, but i fail so seek security from love. I dont believe in love. I have most definitely lost my trust with it. The insecurity i feel overwhelms me sometimes and the fact that you are one of those guys that a lot of girls like just simply glosses over the fact that i dont feel like i can trust you yet, i've built walls around myself and it tends to scare me that you'll probably give up on breaking through them. Not only that, i feel insecure to those that you have so called " were interested in " or " dated " in the past, every single one of them are pretty and im just sitting here, listening to you talk about how hot they are. I dont know about you, but to me i kind of feel like that was a self esteem attack, you made me feel as though im nothing compared to them, one thing you shouldnt do is talk about other girls that you were interested in to me, but its another thing to talk about how hot they are cos that just brings it to a whole new level. i dont know if im annoyed or just simply fucking sad that im sorry i cant be that great, if you dont accept who i am then just give up on me, i dont want to fall deep enough so that when we part i will be tearing myself up all over again. got it ? adios bitches.

In exactly 1 month 24 days i will be able to live my new life. Far far away where no one knows me, no one knows my past. I start fresh with a new beginning, fix all the mistakes i've ever made and forget all the things that have ever made me sad. New memories will be made and i will be sure to forget everyone i use to know. Do know that deep down inside, those that really mattered will still be in there somewhere, i hope. lulz. byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee guyysssssssssssssssssss.

deleted the recent posts because i have contradicted myself big time. I really hate myself for liking someone i have no chance with. Its so stupid because i know im suppose to stop talking to him like this, but i cant. When you guys ask me whats wrong, nothing. Nothings wrong, just sitting here wishing you knew how i felt and that you'd like me back. lol. sad lyf or what guiseeeee?

i like to sit here all day waiting for you to talk to me and then slowly realise that its never going to happen because its one sided and then i like to dwell on the fact for hours and listen to depressing music and torture the shits out of myself until i feel a droplet running down my cheeks. Doing all this because i can, yolo.