Im really tired of trying. You'll never think about me as much as i think about you, you'll never miss me as much as i miss you, you may love me as much, but i'm not feeling it from you. Action speaks louder than words, maybe its time you should stop telling me how much you love me and start showing it.

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.

It's only a matter of time before i take a knife and stab my mum or i stab myself.

Merry Goddamn Christmas everybody ! Hope you guys have all had a wonderful day.

I know im not a strong believe of anything, happiness in the long term in general. But there is one person that made me learn and accept the fact that we live in the present. He taught me to live in the moment and not worry so much about something that's not even here yet, fuck what the future holds, as long as i'm happy at the moment that's all that matters. I'd rather look back at stupid things i've done than sit here and wishing that i had taken that chance. Thankyou for the memories made, happy 2 months to the one who taught me to love and feel again.

Met up with le boyfranzz at the station. So he made me strawberries dipped in chocolate and gave me roses for 2months and christmas. Well, with the chocolate... "he tried"...

Practically spent the whole morning at the aquarium today, saw some mad things. Underwater tunnel was THE BEST part, pretty much the reason why i keep going back to the aquarium. Next stop was Pancakes on the Rocks at Darling Harbour. So happy that half the shit at the city was still open.

Wondered around for the city for a while afterwards, so the game plan was we would walk to circular quay in the rain cause we're romantic like that, and then we ceebs and took the train LOL and found out that our ticket can be used as many time as we want in the city. Walked to the Opera House, so can you believe he's never been to the aquarium nor the opera house, i'm like his first for almost everything 8-) Took a break at Guylian Chocolate Cafe. Model Materialzz.

I'm not even creepy, casually taking like 500 photos of him or something. Happy 2 Months to Shahid and Merry Christmas to you all !

Im not a strong believer of long lasting love, but sometimes this really gets to me. Seeing couples that use to be, what i thought was meant to be and how they were the best couple in the world, and after several months of dating, they break up, one month later they're dating this other person from their social group. Wtf do you think this is ? A season of Gossip Girl ? It irritates me when i see pictures of the old couples, their memories, their love, their laughter and fights and they get over all those months in just a week or so? I feel as though i've been looking like an idiot when i believed i had loved someone over a year after my break up, and grasp onto my memories for so long. How the hell does one get over a 9 year relationship in 2 months and start dating someone and seem so in love, it really makes me lose hope and motivation to believe in love. This moment we may seem so in love, as though we can see each other in our future lives but this is only going to be a moment that one of us or maybe both of us may never look back into as we part to our separate ways. Nothing really lasts, this is no motherfucking game, youre in or youre out. Why was i not born in the 20s, 30s or 40s, love is something you search hard and deep for, once in a life type of thing, then there's this generation where we re-enact the many episodes of gossip girl, relationships do not draw a clear line, there are no boundaries and guidelines in which one are to follow, its pretty fucked up to me. I don't want to fall in love, i don't want to get hurt, i don't want to be the only one holding on when we part, i don't want to go through that hell again.

cant blog about sad things here anymore guys, and for those creeping on here to see how bad my life is just to feel better or those that are legitimately checking if im alright, im sorry i wont be blogging about my problems anymore. this blog use to be everything and the only thing i can vent everything to, everything. But it contains hurtful words, meanings, messages that hurts the one i love. From now on, im just going to hold it all to myself because i never want to see him sad. But in return, what do i get out of my effort and time ? Nothing.

im sick and tired of trying, im sick and tired of crying myself to sleep, im sick and tired of us.

I don't understand how i can possibly hate a person this much and still love them as much. I'd be lying if i said you didn't make me cry, more recently, you have become the only reason why i cry. The aching of the heart is enough to tell me that it's worth fighting for, only to a certain degree of significance does the heart begin to ache over a psychological factor, you, my friend, mean more than my own life.