I miss you so freaking much. Despite everything, despite how sad i am when im with you and despite everything you say to me to hurt me. I still think about you every goddamn second of the day. I know i ended this, i know i left it and im not saying i want anything back. I'm just saying i miss you dearly. I remember you said you were ready to leave as well, i guess you were being 100% serious about that, i use to think you say those things just to get to me, but you meant it and i overestimated my significance in your life. I waited this morning, you didnt show up, i waited at uni, you didnt show up, i waited at the train station, and guess what? You didnt show up. I put myself up to this kind of disappointment so there's noone to blame. I miss you, i miss you so so much. I am using every single ounce of energy in me to hold myself back, just know that every time i didnt talk to you, i almost did.