LOL, i love life. Just got bashed by my mum, again. Well this is pretty much what happened. I was crying, and lately i've been in a really bad mood cos of vanny. but i've never taken anything out on anyone. ever. but my mum, she's a gambler, she loses all her money and always burrow off me. i dont have enough to support the family, so i a got a job at kfc. idk, i always think about my family first. but to my mum, im a inconsiderate tb, whose trying to be all tough and shit. lol. i;ve always thought about her first. every single time. i even feel fucking corny to admit i love my mum. yeah i swear i find it embarrassing when i make it obvious that i care for her. lets say for example, here she is trying to save money so she only orders 2 meal for me and my sis, she shares her food with my sis, so she doesnt get much. Every single time that happens, i feel bad, i feel the responsibility to look after my family since my dad left. So i always tell her, im full or i cant eat that much, so she can eat my share of the food. i dont know if she notices but, i personally find that corny as fuck. lol.

but anywho, she was in a bad mood cos shes been broke lately and i dont have money to support her because i've lent all my money to her and need to pay for school fees and phone bills. she started raging, i've been trying my best to hold my temper down for her lately, but i just cant. my mind is tormented. i've been stressed to the point i cant think really clearly anymore, with all this vanny thing and now my family. I dont know man. Here she was standing with a thick long wooden stick and beat the shits out off me while im crying. oh and i fell at work yesterday, which leaves me with bruises all over my forearm. she kept beating my bruises. i said stop. she said stop talking back. on the same fucking place, she hits the bruises over and over again. that didnt hurt. until, my sister, she came over. She kicked me. shes onyl 5 years old. but she came over and kicked me, i pushed her away, and my mum pushed me away. It wasnt any type of push, it was one of those pushes where you would do to someone whose about to start shit with your family.

That very moment, i felt very distant. i dont feel like i have a family. i dont know where i belong. i have noone. my life, where is going ?