It's funny how i go through this whole 'couldnt get over vanny' thing again but this time it's with you. Thing is, i found myself sad every now and then over him but me and him never shared much memories. I've never cried every now and then for him. I don't know whats happening to me but i don't like it. I have to wait until i'm not with anyone before i can cry though, makes it harder. I could casually be sitting on the train on my way home and tear up, but i tell myself i am not allowed, not allowed to cry. I'm sad but i can't show it to people, is this my brain's way of forcing me to be strong ? I dont know but it's making it worse. Was going through someones instagram and came across a picture of you, you were in your pe uniform, i saw your face, i saw your hand and at that very moment i remember exactly how you looked, how your hand felt, how digging my head in your jumper felt and how you smell. Even my sister can't forget you, then tell me how can i do it. EVERY FUCKING DAY IS HELL, I HAVE ALL THE MONEY, I HAVE ALL THE THINGS I WANT, BUT I DONT HAVE THAT ONE THING THAT I NEED, AND IT IS YOU.