Downfalls.

I often question myself how long it'll take for this to get better, but it only seems to get worse. It's 4:30 in the morning, im laying in bed crying, i'm not quite sure why, but a rush of sadness took over my body. My mum saw me awake, yelled at me for being awake at such an hour, little did she know, if i could fall asleep at my desired hours, i would have. I'd be able to lay in bed for a good 5 hours thinking about my memories with him, it's really tiring me out but i just dont know what to do, everything seems to relate to him. Please lord, give me a relief. I wish it was that easy, i wish it was all a really bad dream and i just wake up one day knowing he'd still be by my side. Do i still love you? Yes. Why isnt love like a sickness, why cant i just take a Panadol tablet for it.