Insomniac

It's been 77 days. I should be alright but I'm not. My subconscious mind still gets the better of me. When I'm awake, at least I can control my thoughts. But it is in my dreams where you still haunt me. I'm afraid to sleep knowing you'd appear and bring temporary false happiness. Then the instance I wake up, I am dragged from heaven back to hell. I tell myself there's nothing wrong with me, truth is, I cant fall asleep at night. I have to leave a tv show on and watch it til I fall asleep. I think it's my mind's defensive way of not letting me overthink or have bad thoughts. I like to fall asleep to the sound of people talking, because that way, I'd feel less lonely and empty inside.